By Mary Duggan
Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned
Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.by William Congreve, The Mourning Bride, 1697
As a young woman I entered into a really sick marriage. Well educated, meaningfully employed and facing a red-hot future, I walked head long and innocent into an abyss that derailed me – heart and soul – for over 14 years. I know from abuse. Exposure now to interpersonal toxins registers with me physically: a bitter, metallic taste fills my mouth; my solar plexus swells and painfully tightens. My reaction is visceral, insistent and king-sized. I have successfully healed on many levels from that experience and I have painstakingly steered clear of abusive relationships ever since. I never imagined that business partnerships could so easily replicate the abusive model I had so struggled to overcome. Boy, was I wrong.
In March of 2011 the Duggan Sisters loaded our lifestinks® deodorant products into our first Whole Foods Market, led an inspiring and informative training session for the staff, and filled a kiosk with our treasured products; an environmentally responsible and lymphatically sound deodorant system that represented the combined efforts of the three of us for the better part of a decade. When the kiosk finally looked as perfect as we could possibly make it, I turned to a stunned Clare and said “I have to get out of here NOW. Please, get me out of here!” On what should have been one of the happiest and most fulfilling days of my career, I was having THE REACTION and I was having it strong.
I am so powerfully attuned to abusive energy that I knew in one day what it would take our company collectively 10 months and a lot of anguish to comprehend. Many the bride knows the feelings of doom I was experiencing. They know they are making a terrible mistake; but, for a myriad of reasons, they walk down the aisle anyways. My journey this time was down the grocery aisle; but surviving and recovering from marital abuse gave me the insights and frame of reference I needed to identify the same beast in a new role. (more…)